A little bit closer

Last week I think the baby dropped. I can fit more food in at a meal and I don't get short of breath so often anymore. The other symptom that supports my conclusion is that when I go from laying to sitting up I feel a lot of pressure in the pelvic area. If I sit up very, very gradually it makes a smoother transition. The baby is so low, my ability to bend and reach things is even more restricted. I can't lean forward to eat over my plate, which makes me laugh!

With the first baby they say the it can be several weeks after it drops before it is ready to be born. So if it dropped in week 35, that doesn't mean I'm about to go into labor. Obviously, since it is a week later now. :)

P.S. I hope you see my humor.

Layout

I think I've figured out how the baby lays most of the time. At my last appointment, the midwife felt around on my belly and helped me identify its body parts.

The baby's head is down, which is good so long as it stays that way! It's back is along the right side of my belly, and its arms and legs are towards my left side. I told the midwife about the little movement that I feel really low on my left side and she thought it was probably feet.

I think this is the way the baby is positioned most of the time based on the type of movement that I feel and where. I think I feel it stretch out its legs while it is doubled over. I will feel small little feet low on my left side while what must be its bottom pushes out high on my right side.

I want the baby to get bigger before it comes out in the world, but I just don't see how it can. I suppose that is why baby's are miracles.

Big and feeling it

With less than six week until the due date, I'm really beginning to feel big, or make that enormous. For me, I am enormous, though other people don't always agree. I have my doubts that the baby has anywhere left to go as it packs on the extra pounds here at the end. Sometimes I feel the baby move up by my ribs and I think I'm losing space to breathe. And maybe even space to eat.

I try my best to include the extra calories that I'm supposed to eat everyday, but it is difficult. I'm reminded of the beginning of this pregnancy when I could only eat two bites and anything more made me gag. I'm not gagging now, I just don't think there is room in my stomach for much food at a time!

Into the 3rd Trimester

Again, I've not posted for quite a while. On the pregnancy front, little has changed. The baby keeps getting bigger and my belly is showing it. Sometimes the baby tickles me and I wonder if it is a hand or foot I'm feeling. I enjoy just sitting and feeling it move, so long as it isn't kicking me in the lungs.

I seem to be gaining an appropriate amount of weight from my estimations. I can certainly tell I've gained weight when I move from one place to another! While I am enjoying the pregnancy, I will also be glad to get back to my typical weight sometime after the baby is born.

The doctors have me coming in about every two weeks now that we're in the third trimester. I talked to a woman at the hospital's anesthesiology department about what we could do if the baby needs to be delivered c-section. I had rods put in my back to correct scoliosis when I was 12 years old, and my doctors and I thought it would be a good idea to have a plan if the old fashioned way of delivering doesn't pan out. The anesthesiologist said that she would like to have an x-ray to see where the hardware is in my back, which we are trying to get from the hospital in Chicago where I last had x-rays. Other than knowing where the rods are, she said performing an epidural or spinal would probably just be difficult. She said I may have an increase in the risks associated with those procedures, such as leaking spinal fluid and severe headache that can last a couple days.

Hmmm. Well... here is my plan: hope, plan, and prepare in the ways that I can to have the baby naturally. The doctors say that giving me an epidural will prevent what is known as autonomic dysreflexia. My injury is around the T-10 level and I have not experienced this in the past, so I'm hoping that it will not occur during labor. But I've never had something as tramatic happen as having a baby, so I don't know if it will or not.

I'm hoping that they will physically be able to give me an epidural or spinal, but I really do not like the idea of having a needle and drugs going into the spinal area. If the baby ends up needing delivered by c-section, the other alternative if a spinal doesn't work is general anesthetic. If that happens, I am totally out of it, the baby can possibly get exposed to the drugs before it is born, and Josh doesn't get to be there when it is born. :(

So I'm thinking positively, trying not to stress about all the "what if's" that freak me out, and enjoy still being pregnant. I have the baby to feel and talk to everyday, so it is easy to enjoy.

My Theme Song this Season

If my life were a TV show, the theme song this season would be Danny's Song. Does a song ever hit you as being about you because it describes your situation and/or feelings exactly? There have been a few songs that I remember feeling that way about in the past few years. If life were a TV show I think the theme song would need to change every year or so, and it would be the underlying mood to what happens each episode that season.

I came across Danny's Song a week or so ago on Pandora Radio and found myself humming it a few days later. I remembered only a few parts of the lyrics and decided to look up the rest. When I did, I found that it is a song originally done by Loggins & Messina, though I had heard a remake by another artist. I thought it was funny that I hadn't remembered that it was a Kenny Loggins song since he is one of the artists I spent a lot of time listening to growing up.

If you aren't familiar with the song or know it and want to hear it, here is a link, (this link is a real treat because it has pictures of a very hairy Kenny Loggins as well as the lyrics as the song plays, lol). If you can't or don't want to play the song but would like to read the lyrics, go ahead and click here.

It is highly amusing to me that my parents probably really liked this song when they were my age, since they were married only a few years after the album debuted.

Life keeps going on

Lately it seems like there isn't much new. I am happy that the pregnancy is uneventful at this point because that is what it should be! Thing are pretty much the same as they have been for the past few weeks; the baby still moves quite a bit. I wonder, "what it is trying to do in there? What it is thinking? Does it think it is going to get anywhere if it hits me harder?"

I went in for my glucose screening this week to test for gestational diabetes. I drank this sugary orange concoction that reminded me of a mutated McDonald's orange drink. It made my stomach a bit queasy and an hour-ish after downing it my blood was drawn. When the results come back if I'm not in the normal range I will have a 3-hour screening to better determine if I have diabetes. I'm hoping I'm in the normal range!

Pondering

Sometimes I sit at the computer and visit my own blog to watch the baby widget. I click on the days to review how many days and weeks it has been so far and then how much longer the baby needs to grow with me. I sit there and just watch it slowly move around in the bubble, knowing that it looks something like that.

It seems like such a dorky thing to do, to watch a widget, but I think it is also something that a mother might do. Since I'm the baby's mother, I guess it is appropriate. I am used being pregnant and I can imagine having the baby here with me after it is born, but it still seems weird to think of myself as a mother. It is exciting and I know that I will like it because I'm sure that I will like as well as love the baby.

I remember when my sister was pregnant the first time and it seemed so strange to see her belly grow, knowing that her identity would never be quite the same again. She was no longer my big sister and someone who looked after me when I needed her; she was going to have someone who depended on her for everything, needed her more than I did, and was more important to her than me - she was going to be a mother. While she always did take care of me more than may have been her responsibility as a sibling, it was a new dynamic. Now, as the mother of four children, being a mother is such a huge part of who she is and it fits her. So I know that it will seem strange for a while that I am the mother, but once it finally sinks in I'm sure that it will fit just fine.

I think that being pregnant helps me get used to the idea that the baby will be there all the time and I will always need to make sure it is looked after. It is never going to just take care of itself - make itself a sandwich when it's hungry like Josh does - someone, usually me, will have to make sure that everything is taken care of for it. Maybe that is why some people get a pet before having a baby - but I'm not interested in having something that sheds hair worse than I do!

Moving all around

In the last week or so I've felt the baby move a lot more than before. Before I could feel small little movements and occasionally a bigger poke. Now I'm feeling the bigger movements much more. They are more than just pokes from the inside out; I feel a foot or something move across. When there is a big movement, it usually catches me off guard; I feel like somebody was standing right behind me where I couldn't see them and pushed me forward and I had no time to prepare my reaction. I can only imagine how it will be as the baby gets even bigger!

It seems to move quite a bit late in the evening and sometimes I think it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I wonder if it will like to stay up late like me? I guess the real question is how early it wants to get up!

The skin on my belly is itchy on a regular basis now as it is beginning to stretch. They say in the books that having good genes and a diet that supports healthy skin are the only effective means of preventing stretchmarks. The diet I can work on since I am trying to eat well for myself and the baby, and who knows how much skin elasticity I've inherited? The books all say that lotions and creams don't really work to prevent stretch marks even though there might be a thousand lotions or creams out there that claim to make them disappear. I have been using lotion on my belly because that seems to help keep it from itching but I'm not counting on it to keep me from getting stretch marks. I figure that even if I get stretch marks in all the common places, there will only be a few people who will ever see them and even fewer of them will care.

Another Appointment

We met the second doctor at our latest appointment. This doctor is a bit younger than the other doctor and only joined this practice a couple of months ago. He was very nice and seemed eager to answer all the questions I had.

I asked him if he was concerned that I have not been weighed at any of my office visits. He said that how much weight I gain is more of an additional way to assess that the baby is growing at a normal rate. He said he could feel that my uterus comes to just above my belly button and that is where it should be at 21 weeks. With the holiday over the weekend, the ultrasound tech's report did not reach the doctor's office yet, so the doctor didn't have those results as additional confirmation that the baby is growing fine. He said the tech will usually call the doctor if something weird shows up on the ultrasound, so he thought the tech probably didn't find any problems. He wasn't concerned that that the baby is too small or that I would gain too much weight considering how I'm doing now, so basically it doesn't matter!

I have been getting an estimate of how much weight I've gained by having Tim hold me on the scale and then he subtracts his weight (which I appreciate very much). Since we started this at the beginning of the second trimester, I've gained around 8lbs. That is pretty good, I think, considering that I'm sure I lost weight in the first couple months. I'd like to gain about a pound a week the rest of the pregnancy.

I also talked to the doctor about who I would have for the delivery. He said I can request to have a midwife or a doctor if I want, or I can just take whoever is on-call at the time. He said the midwives are good about calling a doctor in if things get more complicated than they are comfortable handling. I'm thinking that I would rather have a doctor this time since I don't know how it will go. I'd rather not take risks with my baby that I don't have to take! Both doctors have now told me that I can plan on a natural delivery unless other complications arise. If things go well this time around, maybe the next pregnancy I will feel comfortable with a midwife. I'm going to be at the hospital regardless, so I'm sure a doctor is not too far away if I need one!

Ultrasound

We had the semi-standard ultrasound last week to check the baby's progress. We were really excited to see how big it is now. From the measurements that the tech took, she estimated that the baby weighs close to a pound. From the books I have, being almost a pound is a little big for this length gestation, so maybe it is taking after it's father already! I can't give Josh all the credit, though, because we were both 8 pound babies and I was early and he was late.

We decided not to find out its sex yet. We had been going back and forth the whole time, one of us wanted to wait and the other wanted to know, then we would switch positions, and switch back again. When the tech asked us if we wanted to know if it is a boy or girl, after only a moments hesitation and long look at Josh, I replied that we wanted to wait. In the end, looking forward to knowing if it is a boy or girl will be something fun and exciting to look forward to regardless of any other anxieties or fears I have about the labor and delivery.

Some people have said they think it is a boy or think it is a girl. We even had a friend do an old-fashioned test that she said will tell you the baby's sex. She said she has been 100% accurate when she has done the test before, so she made me close my eyes and didn't tell us what the results were. She wrote down her results and tucked the paper away in a box so she can tell us later.

Plates + Belly = Dishwasher

The baby is changing the kitchen.

I keep the plates and half the set of glasses in a bottom cupboard in the kitchen. The other half of the set of glasses are in higher cupboard more typically used for glasses for Josh to easily access. I can no longer keep the plates in that cupboard. Let me explain for those of you who are not familiar with my kitchen.

The plates are in the back corner of the cupboard on a shelf organizer that is very similar to this:

The largest plates are on the bottom. I can no longer bend myself in half enough to reach them. The baby is getting that big! I'm delighted that my belly is big enough that it is changing what I am able to do, but at the same time, it is hindering some of my functionality which is not great. But not to worry. I have a solution to this problem.

Eureka!! Store the plates in the dishwasher!

In the wonderful apartment that we live in (being only slightly facetious because it really isn't that bad) the dishwasher has never worked more than to rinse and provide a place for the dishes to dry. If you want the dishes to come out clean, you must put them in clean. So I don't use it other than to rinse dishes when we get them out of the box when they are new. Ordinarily it is empty, or filled with the few dishes that I can't put away until Josh can put them away. But now it is the new home for the plates.

... after a blogging absence

It has been a while since I've posted and I want to apologize for that. I know that it can get addicting to check for new posts and quite annoying when they are not there, (at least that is the way I feel about it when I check the blogs I read). So for those of you who are checking in here from time to time, wondering what is going on, I am committing to posting more often: hopefully at least once a week, but I'm not making promises. There have been some things that I thought I would post about but simply haven't written them. So I may have a few back stories to share, but this post will be about what is going on currently.

Right now I am almost to 20 weeks, marking the midpoint of this pregnancy. In the pregnancy books, they say you typically start to feel the baby move sometime between 16 and 20 weeks. They also say that it is usually easier to discern the baby's movements after you have been through a pregnancy because you know what types of movements to notice and your body has already been "stretched out" and you just feel the movement easier. So I figured that since this is my first pregnancy, I don't know what I'm kind of movement I should be feeling, and my sensation starts being compromised below my belly-button, I won't expect to feel anything until I'm closer to 20 weeks. But people start asking me if I can feel the baby yet. And I start paying attention to what I feel more often. Around 17 weeks I think I may feel something that could be the baby, but I can't be sure or even almost sure. So when people ask me if I feel the baby I say "not yet" even though I might be feeling the baby move. Even though no one is going to call me a liar if I say I feel the baby when I'm not sure if it is the baby or gas (because I have been much more gassy since being pregnant, so that is a very real possibility), I still felt unsure about telling people that I indeed was feeling the baby move.

Then in week 18 I was again trying to figure out if I was feeling the baby moving or if it was wishful thinking as Josh read a chapter of Eragon to me. I was getting a bit frustrated because I really wasn't sure if I was feeling the baby. When he finished the chapter, Josh started feeling my belly and he was more successful that I was. He slowly moved his hand around and said he could feel the little movements of the baby. I wonder if it was because his hands are so much bigger than mine that he was better able to discern the movements for what they were.

Since then, I have been able to feel some of the baby's movements. I still think I'm gassy and probably misinterpret some of the things that I "feel," but I am confident in saying that I do feel the baby move sometimes.
:)

2nd Appointment

We had the second appointment yesterday and everything went well. We met the doctor for the first time and he was what I thought he should be: knowledgeable, nice, and calm. He said there was no reason I shouldn't plan on a natural birth at this point. He talked about the things we should watch for during the pregnancy and precautions he would take during the labor and delivery. He mentioned all the things that I knew he should be concerned about for my specific case, and I was pleased.

We heard the baby's heartbeat with the doppler. It was fast, like people told me it would be. The doctor said that we must be doing things right because the baby is doing good! And I don't have anything extraordinary to be concerned about at this point, so I'm doing good, too!

I am feeling 10 times better than I was! For several weeks I've been telling myself and other people that my morning sickness and related repulsion of food and drink was lessening, hoping that it was true. It has slackened in the last week or so, but as of this week, it really is completely true! The thought, sight, and smell of food no longer makes me grimace, but has me eager to get a plate of my own. So maybe I'll finally start gaining some weight!

One baby item down...

Sometimes life happens in such a way that you know that you couldn't have coordinated to make it happen the way it did, and you know that God is there working through all of us to make something beautiful happen. Even small things that happen sometimes make me step back and say, "Thanks, God. I know you are looking out for me, even in the little things."

I have given some thought to what kind of furniture I would like to have for the baby. The crib is a challenge that I'm still thinking about. We'll need some modifications made to a crib, but we're not sure what style will be best for us and safest for the baby. I think I'd like a co-sleeper to place next to our bed for the baby to sleep in initially and hopefully for several months. For a changing table, I thought that a desk would be ideal. I would be able to reach the baby easily and have drawers to keep clothes and other baby items. If I had a desk, it could double as a dresser and I wouldn't need an additional piece of furniture.

I mentioned to a few people that I was thinking a desk would be ideal, since it was the only thing I had decided on at this point. I started casually looking online at desks with drawers. I wanted to find a desk that was sturdy, something with drawers on both sides, and with a large enough space for my chair to fit under easily. What I found from my searches online was that desks meeting these criteria were hard to find in the ordinary stores around, not to mention were on the expensive end as far as desks go. But with more than six months to find something, I wasn't too worried. Nevertheless, I started looking on Craigslist and skimming through garage sale listings. The longer I look, the better the odds of finding what I want, right?

Last Friday I got an email at about 9:30 p.m. from my cousin's wife, P. As part of her bargain-loving nature, P. regularly visits online buying/selling/trading websites. She happened to see that there was a large executive desk that someone was giving away for free, which had been posted at 8:55 p.m. that night. She thought of me and passed it along. So I check my email a little after 10:00 that night and send an email to the seller (he wasn't really selling it, but it is easier to refer to him that way) asking for the dimensions to find out if my chair would fit under it. The seller must have have been sitting at his computer when I sent my email because he had responded by the time looked back at my computer after I told Josh that I had sent the email. The seller and I exchanged several nice little emails in the next few minutes. I thought the desk would work: measurements indicated that my chair would fit, it had drawers on both sides, it sure seemed sturdy enough (the seller assured me that 3 or 4 people would be needed to move it), and the price was right!

So I found a desk that would be great! Wonderful! Now I just needed a truck, and 3 or 4 guys to haul it. And soon. I was competing with about 15 other people for this desk, so it was going to turn into who could pick it up first. Since we don't have a truck or 4 guys sitting around to do my bidding, I highly doubted it was going to work out. There will be other desks, something will work out even if this doesn't, I said to myself. I responded to P., thanking her for letting me know about the desk, telling her that I thought it would work out great if I had means to get it. She responded with, "You might try calling my husband. All the brothers are helping J. move this weekend." So I called.

My family, and God, working through them all, loves me. It just so happened that my four cousins were all together that night and were going to help do the last of the big moving for J. to his new house. They were going to be taking a truckload of scrap metal late Saturday morning. They were able to switch scrap metal yards they went to and pick up the desk for me. They brought it back to our house and managed to make it fit through all the doorways and got it into the extra room. All by 2:30 Saturday afternoon.

While it is only a desk, not something really truly fabulous or anything, I feel like it was meant to be, to use the cliche. Everything happened very quickly and seemed to click into place, as if it was already planned and we just didn't realize it. So now I have a place to change my baby's diaper and put its little clothes. I almost tear up when I think about it.

1st Appointment

We had our first appointment today and everything went well. The only thing that I am mildly concerned about is that they do not have a scale to weigh me. So I'll do some research to find out if it is really all that important to keep track of, and also see if there may be a semi-convenient scale that may be available to me.

Josh was looking forward to seeing the baby because he thought they did an ultrasound every appointment, but I told him they usually only do one around 20 weeks. He was disappointed when I told him this, but my sister said they could probably hear the heartbeat this time. A woman from work who is pregnant said they probably wouldn't even try for the heartbeat until the next month, so I was uncertain about whether we would even get to hear the baby, even if we didn't get to see him or her.

It turned out that everything I had heard didn't happen and Josh was right. We did have an ultrasound and got to see the baby. The midwife said she likes to do that when it is the first appointment with your first pregnancy to check the calculated due date with the baby's development. She said our baby is right on track for January 10, 2009, which is the date they had calculated.

It was awesome to see the little baby; its head, arms, and legs. Its length is 28 mm and its head is 13.8 mm. We could even see its heart beating up and down in its tiny chest. She gave us three pictures to take home. It was clearer on the monitor when she was doing it than the pictures here, but at least you can see the basic shape.





It's really there and growing!

The Cat is out of the Bag

While Josh and I originally thought we would wait until going to the doctor to tell everyone, neither of us was all that committed to this plan. With my increasingly noticeable and annoying nausea and food aversions to spur our change of heart, we decided that we would make the pregnancy public knowledge. I was getting tired of keeping it a secret anyway.

The most memorable announcement was made to Josh's family. We arrived at his cousin's graduation party and said hello to the grad and the family that were enjoying themselves in the yard outside. We had decided to try to corner his parents to tell them first, and then let it spread around to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. His mother was inside so Josh helped me in the house to the kitchen where the family ambushed us with a lovely chorus of "Happy Birthday," as it also happened to be Josh's birthday. At the conclusion of the song, calls of "Speech! Speech!" resounded around the room. So Josh, not one to miss a prime opportunity to shock, announced in a loud happy grin, "We're having a baby!" Suddenly, there were gasps and furtive looks at me for confirmation. Some were brought to tears, and some seemed to have missed the news entirely. Josh's godmother was so intent on getting to him to give him a hug and personal birthday wish, she had to ask him again what he said when she released him from her embrace.

But there was one problem; Josh's father was not inside when Josh had dropped the bomb. Someone noticed his absence and went out to the bring him inside. As soon as Josh's dad appeared, everyone started another chorus of "Happy Birthday" and repeated the entire scenario to give Josh's dad the benefit of the same delivery of the news, except this time everyone was not shocked but looked expectantly at his dad, who didn't miss a beat and congratulated Josh and I.

Reminiscent of our wedding receiving line, the family paraded by Josh and I, hugging and congratulating us.

Later, one of Josh's uncles made the comment to me that when he and his wife had announced their pregnancies, it didn't seem to be such a big deal. I responded that it all must be in the presentation of the news.

Even though I was sure that his mom and sisters must have already suspected, only his sister-in-law and brother had made any connections. So I guess I hadn't been as obvious as I had thought.

None of our other announcements were that dramatic or memorable. The only other thing that I thought was interesting was that my sister said she was not surprised because she was expecting us to announce any day since we got married. Her husband, on the other hand, said it surprised him because he still thinks of me as the 9-year-old kid sister I was when he first started dating my sister, so obviously it would be weird for me to be pregnant.

So I'll have my first appointment next week. Until then.

Coincidence?

On Mother's Day my MIL gave me a prayer book for mother's saying "it doesn't mean anything, there are prayers in there for your husband and marriage." Since I had just found out three days before that I am pregnant, it was just a little ironic.

I hope that people are not reading anything into little things I'm doing. For instance, we sat down to eat lunch and after my first bite of food, I immediately felt unable to eat anything on my plate. So I spent some time taking a few drinks of tea and moving the food around on my plate and slowly eating my salad. Josh kindly started sneaking food from my plate to help me out. Josh's younger sister asked me if I was ok at one point when I stopped pretending and was calming my stomach.

When we first arrived Josh was telling his parents all about the new car we just got. After that subject was exhausted, his mom asked (in what I thought was an expectant tone) "what else is new?" but Josh didn't seem to think anything of it. Then again before we left, his mom asked me how I've been feeling, to which I replied that "I have been tired, tired of classes." She went with it. I don't know if they suspect, or if I'm just looking for them to suspect when they don't have a clue.

It makes me feel weird that I have this big news that we are so excited about that we're not telling anyone! I feel like I'm lying to them.

It hasn't been that big of a deal except that this past week I've had a difficult time with nausea and fatigue. Even though we decided to wait until I see the doctor before telling everyone, I feel badly about making excuses to deceive people. I guess we'll just have to see how things progress, and take it from there.

The Beginning

I don't know if it is a noticeable trend, but it seems to be a growing trend in the people I know to blog, and neither to join the pack or to be left behind the trend because I have been thinking about starting a blog for quite some time, I have started a blog. The biggest thing that has stopped me until now is that I simply did not think I had anything all that interesting to write about. Until now.

We're going to have a baby!

The back story:

I was late by almost a week, and I'm never that late. Josh picked up a home pregnancy test and I just knew it had to be positive, but I was telling myself I wasn't just in case. I did the test and it seemed almost immediately that two blue lines appeared, indicating pregnancy! I was elated and Josh was, too. I checked with a nurse at a local health clinic about the reliability of the home pregnancy tests to see if I could have made a mistake somehow. She assured me that if done properly they are almost 99% accurate, indeed, they give the same tests at the clinic that you can buy at the store. My test showed that the results should be valid, so I was pretty sure I really was pregnant!

The next day I called the doctor's office that my sister and sister-in-law go to and set an appointment. It made me laugh because after telling them my birthday and my insurance, the receptionist repeated my answers because she was almost certain she had misunderstood me (you see most women in their twenties don't have Medicare, it's just not typical). I told her I had a disability and then it all made sense to her. She asked me to wait a moment and when she returned, she said,

"Were you referred by another patient?"

"Yes, my sister," I replied.

"Oh, well one of the midwives remembered that a patient had asked if we would be comfortable seeing her sister, who has a disability, and we were wondering if that was you?"

"Yes, that's me."

During her last pregnancy, I had my sister ask if the doctor had experience with women with disabilities and would be comfortable having me as a patient, to which they had agreed to see me when the time came. The rest of the conversation went on as was typical for new patients. I was tickled to be recognized.